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Why do you need to connect more when your child is displaying a Negative Behavior

How do you react when you are confronted by negative behavior?

Say, your husband is grumpy or your child is biting, hitting, screaming, etc?

Something that my husband and I learned from each other, when one of us is grumpy, the other must serve food, fast. Yes, food – most likely, the grumpiness is due to or exacerbated by hunger.

I learned from my litigation practice that aggressive behavior is a product of a range of factors – that one is not violent for the sake of being violent.

In children, it is easier for us to dismiss it as “a kid being a kid” or a phase that they will outgrow.

The worst thing that we can do when a child is displaying aggressive and negative behavior is to disconnect with our children.

A better solution would be to:

  1. be more circumspect,

  2. dig deeper,

  3. be more curious what could be causing the behavior and

  4. Connect.

We need to understand the deeper reason behind the negative behavior.  By doing so, we can respond accordingly.  For most cases, the reason can be a simple: hunger, need for connection, overstimulation etc.  Sometimes, professional help may be needed. What is important is that we discover a solution through connection.

As parents, let us remember that when we disconnect to our child when they are acting out, we tell them that when they are most unhappy, we are least available (Dr. Gabor Mate)

How do you deal with negative behavior?































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