Alternatives to Blaming
Fact: The way you talk a child becomes her inner voice (O’Mara)
Have you been called names as a child? “Stupid” “Fatty” “Lazy” “Stubborn” “Whiner”. Do you remember how it felt?
I was called a fatty and maybe that is the reason why for a time, I was too body conscious.
Sometimes, out of haste, we say these things without really meaning it. Unfortunately verbal punishment, even if unintended, sticks to our minds more. It destroys self-esteem.
I completely understand you. When something bad happens, it is easier to blame. But communicating to children that they always do wrong basically sends a message that they are incapable and unlovable.
By shifting the blame game to from the perpetrator to the problem:
1. we empower our child to focus on the solution
2. we let them know that even if they made a mistake, they are loved.
3. we shift their thinking from “YOU” to “WE” which strengthens our bond with our child.
If you did the blaming game and feel sorry, remember that you have a lot of chances to correct yourself. Its harder, but we got this!
This tip applies to kids, applies to adults as well!
For future reading, consider “How to talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk”
Follow use @karinundme in facebook and instagram for more tips on raising kids.